I Don't Know What Your Father Would Say....

by Jane Carnall

with suggestions from Ann

"Sarek doesn't approve of me. I can tell," Jim Kirk observed gloomily, lying sprawled on his bondmate's bed after a long, silent, and intimidating meal with Spock's family.

"Actually, I think my father finds you somewhat of a relief."

"A relief...?"

"Considering his opinion of all the other boyfriends I've brought home, as to their utter unsuitability as bondmates for a young man of good family -- "

"What other boyfriends, Spock?" Kirk demanded, a roiling feeling of hurt and insecurity washing over him. All right, so he'd played around a bit in the past, it made no sense to demand that Spock should be completely inexperienced. But somehow he hated to think that anyone else might have made love to his Vulcan; his gentle, naive bondmate...

"It started when I was seventeen," Spock admitted. "I was precocious. Mother thought that the fourteen-year-old boy prostitute was very endearing, but Father nearly fainted. Then there was the Klingon ballet dancer, and both of the Gallifreyan's incarnations -- that provided me with material for my paper on sexual chronoastics, but Father still wasn't pleased. And the Andorian I met at my coming-out ball, not to mention the computer technician who was wanted for murder on seventy-three different planets, and the Romulan who came over on the cultural swap, and the Space Commander with the eyepatch -- I admit he was psychotic, Father was quite right to be concerned -- and the transsexual transvestite from Transylvania who stole Father's corset collection (he was just a phase I was going through) didn't endear himself. The Horta was nearly a success -- very polite, intelligent, clean, and didn't wear corsets, but Father simply couldn't cope with the idea of a silicon son-in-law."

Kirk was speechless.

"So you see," Spock explained benignly, "after all that, Father regards a human male Starship captain with considerable relief; so much so, that he informed me he considered you a reasonably logical choice."

Kirk was still speechless, but rather pleased. Winning over Sarek was not to be sneezed at, with all his power and influence.

"Of course," Spock continued a little ruefully, "Mother and T'Pau can't stand you."



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