20: Call me eager

by Jane Carnall

Call me eager. I see what youíre saying, and Iím ahead of you. I run on to meet you. I wonít let you finish if I know in advance what youíre going to say. Call me myself: thatís me. Fight me with words: I will win. Fight me with endurance: I will not lose. I will still be here.

Call me eager. I want more than Iím getting. I know what I can do, and I want it. I want my whole pot, down to the bottom. I want the bracelet that fell into the lake on which the wives rowed with their hair unloosened and their breasts bare. I want the lotus-tree on which the soul was hidden, the soul that could not die until the tree was cut. I want to tell the stories I can write. I want to know Iím admired, respected, able: I want to be a reliable person, able, ready, willing: I want to be paid for what I do, and paid well.

Call me eager. I want to travel. I want to see the world: the Grand Canyon, Ayers Rock, the Reichenbach Falls, the Victoria Falls, Niagra Falls: I want to fly, to sail, to swim: to stand on the Barrier Reef and to walk down empty beaches alone, alone, alone.

Call me eager. I want to see all there is to be seen. To write as well as I can write. To tell the story there is to be told. To be known, recognised, reliable, flaring bright and burning steadily, both, all, everything.

261 words

3 September 2002

Feedback: e-mail me (or comment me if you have a livejournal).